Perspective.

Sometimes things or people in our lives turn out not to be who we thought they were, or in my case, exactly who we thought they were. Sometimes they're friends, sometimes family, sometimes they are just people connected to people you want nothing to do with. I know many of them; a few family members, tons of "friends", a best friend even. The worst thing about these people is once you finally make them go away, you can't trust them not to come back.

I can't even begin to count how many friend requests, text messages and phone calls I've gotten from old friends trying to get back into my life. I see them as insects; no matter what obstacle you put in their way, the always find some way to force

themselves back into your house. In some people this isn't a bad thing. Some people you just need space from, other times one or both of you need to learn or get something, but some people need to be tossed out on the curb with the trash Sunday night and hauled off to a landfill. It's hard to tell them apart, but I'm learning. Some times the only way to know is to give someone multiple opportunities to prove them self in one direction or the other.

There are a lot of people I've left sitting on the curb, but the thing about people is, they aren't like garbage cans. If you leave them sitting somewh

ere, they get up and walk away when you aren't looking. Then, when you least expect it, they show up on your porch or the other end of a telephone line.

Some people I'm not sure about. Time helps you gain perspective, which I hope I've done. I've recently made some decisions about several people. There's only one way to know if they're right, and if they aren't, Oh well. I'll take my chances. Some people are too important for the curb.

These feelings I can't take no more, this emptiness in the bottom drawer, it's getting harder to pretend, and I'm not coming back around again. -Avril Lavinge, Remember When

Children.

Sometimes, when I see Jason Castro, I am reminded of how my mom always said he looked like a girl. I always argued with her until one night, I was in the car headed back from the beach watching one of his American Idol videos. I never thought he looked like a girl.

It was late and the sun was setting. The small girl next to me was up way past her bed time and nodding off in her car seat. Then I see her watching my iPod screen, mesmerized. The unbiased child looks at me with wide eyes, puts her sticky little finger on my iPod and says "Who's she?"

My mom and I haven't revisited the subject since. I don't like to argue cases I can't win...

Memory Lane

For a long time I have lived in a town that I am less than crazy about, on a street I don't really like, in a house surrounded by people I'm not huge fan of. I have been disconnecting from some people, most people in my area actually, and I couldn't be happier about that, but this town gets to me.

During the process of getting rid of people, I did things like change my phone number. The new number did eventually get to some people, but that hasn't been a problem yet. When the shock of "The Schooling Incident" had worn off, I realized that it wasn't just my school friends that were the problem. I began reevaluating my relationships with friends and family and taking care not to enter into any harmful situations again. I have made some small sacrifices, but when I think about it, they didn't matter that much after all.

Now, (thanks to facebook) I have been reconnecting with old friends, I even go places with them. Just last night I was planning a reunion party with a couple friends, who will bring their friends, and we will all meet people and listen to 90's boy bands, probably make fools of ourselves and film it. That's just how we have fun.

At the beginning of the summer, my mom and I revisited an idea we had gone over so many times: returning to the small town in the middle of nowhere we call home. Suddenly it wasn't an idea anymore, it was a full blown plan. We were driving around looking for places to live and buying newspapers. We began cleaning out our house and packing things. I talked to friends that live there, friends from kindergarten, from 3rd grade, people who actually want to see me.

Although I know there will the same kind of people there, I will continue to apply my new ways of thinking and evaluating. And I'll be doing from home this time, in a town I love, possibly on a street I grew up on, in a house surrounded by friends.

"Memory Lane, we're here again, back to the days and I'll remember you always, so much has changed, now it feels like yesterday I went away" -Memory Lane McFly

Irony.