Oh Brother.

You say it's your birthday nanananana it's my birthday too!

No seriously,
Happy birthday Matt. I have to say, 20? 20!? 20??????????????? Are we sure about this? Can't we go back to everybody being 1 something? I liked 19, I was good with 19. Yep. I've decided, 19 it is.

But again, seriously, I love you. I can't believe that you're 20. And all the time now it seems you guys are leaving me in the dust. First, I was the only one that was still a single digit age, then I was the only minor, now here you've gone and left me, again, to be the only teenager. But you know why I'm happy about that? You really are growing up. For the first time I feel like the only teenager. You've taken so much initiative in moving forward with your life. Don't get me wrong, you've still got a long way to go, but who doesn't? Moving in the right direction is all anyone can ever do right? 

WARNING: That in no way gives you permission to stop making progress. Don't even think about it. Think about Pink Elephants instead. (They are better than blue ones, magic powers and all)

Robert, I said don't think about it! Think about the elephants!

No seriously, pink elephants, what a concept, I was gobsmacked. Did you know there are pink DOLPHINS?? I want to swim with one, but they're in South America or something. I don't like shots.

I digress. 

Since you have officially left teenager/child life behind, I would like to remind you of a few things you're never allowed to forget:

Oh this too: EVERYTHING OK!

• Yoda dolls hurt if you get in the eye with them.
• Each of us has a little Criss Angel inside us. (you can remember this when you eat corn) 
• Beyblades will be cool no matter how old we get, but they DO NOT work in cardboard boxes. 
• On Wednesdays you should call your sister. Okay, not every Wednesday, but every now and then. 
• Seto Kaiba and Prince Zuko got nothin' on all those other anime jerks. 
• I once beat you at a duel. (no excuses! I said none!) 
• Snape has gotten kind of fat and his nose got larger. 
• Dad's "I fixed it!" face. :D
• "NINJA! Where you go?"
• The chicken-butts WILL peck your finger off.
• "Do what?" doesn't make sense in most circumstances. Try "What did you say?" :P
• Never argue grammar with mom, you will always lose. Always. 
• Never argue grammar with me, you will always lose. Most of the time. 
• Whether you bend and aim or not, WASH YOUR HANDS! 

Also, Matt, don't forget this either: I love you, I mean, a lot of the time I hate you, but you're my brother, that's how that works. It's a very specific rule. It's in the sibling handbook. I think you were sick that day. But I have it. I know the rule. And I love you, even if I hate you. But don't make me hate you, okay? Oh! And don't tell anyone about this love thing. I can't have you go ruining my reputation or anything. 

So, in short, Happy birthday old man, I love you and I'm proud of you, and stop this old thing. (but not the growing up thing. you're thinking about it still aren't you? Geez. You can't be trusted at all) 

15 songs.

Recently, the drummer from my favorite band, (Jake Bundrick from Mayday Parade) compiled his life into ten songs. After listening to it I was tempted to try it myself. I had a few more then ten, but I think I got everything big. So, here's my life in fifteen (diverse) songs:

1. Vienna- Billy Joel

I first heard this song watching 13 going on 30. It's always been one of my favorite movies and it has the greatest messages. I always remember everything I learned from this movie when I hear this song. 

2. Jessie's Girl- Rick Springfield

When I was still young and impressionable, my mother decided to live her life-long dream and write a biography about Rick Springfield. There was never a time his music wasn't playing. We went to concerts to see him. She traveled a few times to do interviews. It was constant for what seems like years in my mind. At the time, I didn't understand "80's popstar" or "17 top 40 songs". He was just Rick. And his music will follow me for the rest of my life. 

3. Vegas- All Time Low

 

This song is my entire driving music playlist. I first heard So Wrong, It's Right in spring of 2008. I had never heard of All Time Low at that point and I fell in love. I have since gotten all of their releases the week they came out (if not the day) and gotten all their old EPs and such. But through the 70 some songs I have, this one has always spoken to me and will always be my favorite. 

4. I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry

I heard of Katy Perry before most of my friends did. She wasn't always auto-tuned and over produced, she used to be kinda indie, but when this song surfaced, not one of my friends could stop singing it. Mostly the guys. This song holds so many memories of crazy times in junior high and how we used to amuse ourselves. 

5. Firefly- Breaking Benjamin 

This song was on the soundtrack to one of the Smackdown vs. Raw video games. My dad always used to play them when I was a kid and I still play them now. I have found over the years that it brings back so many memories of my family just going on with our lives, and when I remember things I find if I listen hard enough I can hear this song playing in the background. I just associate it with family. I did also learn the words and I fall in love with the song all on it's own. The memories are just a bonus.

6. Just Friends- The Jonas Brothers

I had my Jonas phase. I was 12. It happens. And as I've matured and gotten space, I still maintain that Nick Jonas has a lot of talent (best used in theater, not gonna lie), but I could be biased. This is my absolute favorite song of theirs. I love the sound of it and I love the story. Every time I hear it I get to be a boy band obsessed preteen again and pretend that this song has something to do with my "Future Mrs. Jonas" shirt. 

7. Ocean and Atlantic- Mayday Parade

"We don't all need a home but just a place to sleep." A Lesson in Romantics is my favorite album. Literally. And although there are 12 amazing songs on this album and it's impossible to choose a favorite, this is the song I have always gravitated towards. Whenever I start to think I'm losing, I hear this song in my head and it reminds to keep running, no matter what. 

8. Whenever You Remember- Carrie Underwood

My mothers motto has always been "Change is Bad", but the biggest thing I've learned is everything changes and it's not really a bad thing. This song always reminds me of all the old friends, houses, plans and general different lives I've lived. Every time something changed, something else to get attached to showed up, but I still like to remember. 

9. We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands- The Academy Is...

One of the greatest bands I can think of, this song gives me the best ideas. I have thought multiple times about throwing my phone in a public pool. The line "I always put myself in destructive situations" is one of the truest things I have ever heard. I never get to far from this song because it's like a best friend you tell all your problems to. I've always got it on an iPod or CD or phone somewhere.

10. Everything's An Illusion- Mayday Parade

Just a few weeks after this album came out, a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in quite a while died. I didn't find out until after the funeral, so I never really got a goodbye. This song spoke to me instantly and I played it constantly. It was on repeat in my house all day. I wasn't all that surprised to find out that the song was written about a friend of Jake's who died. It made perfect sense to me that this was the song I chose to get me through because it turned out he had also missed the funeral and felt like he hadn't had a proper goodbye. 

11. Soundtrack to Your Life- Ashley Parker Angel

In 7th grade my show choir went to Disney World. We flew from Chicago to Orlando and I listened to this one song the whole flight. It plays into the "life's to short" outlook nicely. It always makes me think "How do you want to remember this?" And it's very fitting to the show choir trip. I'm pretty sure I had an explosive fight with every person I was friends with at that time and hope(d) that I won't see any of them again, but Disney was one of my favorite memories. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

12. Metalingus- Alter Bridge

As I mentioned before, the WWE has been a big part of my life. I believe I was 3 or 4 when I first saw Edge. He was on in my house a lot growing up even though my dad's favorite was Undertaker. When my dad moved Wrestling was never on anymore. Not for any particular reason, it was just that he hadn't turned it on. Then one day about 4 years ago I was flipping through channels and landed on Smackdown. The wrestlers were a little older, some of them unfamiliar faces, but I fell right back in. This song was Edge's theme music then and until the day he retired. This song reminds me of the first time I saw Edge and all the matches I've seen since. 

13. Therapy- All Time Low

I had an immediate connection to this song. First time through the record I picked up on it and I understood. I had no idea that in the next few months things would change drastically and this song would become my life raft. Thankfully, it kept me afloat long enough to get to the next ship and I owe ATL a lot for it. 

14. Skyway Avenue- We The Kings

My first We The Kings song back in 2008, 3 albums later I haven't found a song of theirs I don't like. I could probably list any song here, but every time I hear this song I remember the first time I heard them. Then seeing them on the End of the World tour, I'm pretty sure they moved into my top 5 favorite bands. This song is one of my favorites. I can't lie, I came to this band for Travis Clark's hair, but I stayed for the music.

15. Miserable At Best- Mayday Parade

Another song off A Lesson In Romantics, this song always comes out on a rainy day. I had heard of Mayday Parade quite a while before this song was a single, but I had never really followed them (what was I thinking?) until I heard this song playing on the computer at a friends house one day and recognized the singers. I was obsessed of course and followed them closely, I knew every tour they went on and every song they released. They have set me straight so many times. Their music is truly important to my life. It can be argued that without them, I wouldn't have a life right now. This song will always remind me of my first rock show, the End of the Word 2012 tour. One of the greatest days of my life.

So there you have it. My life in fifteen songs. :]

FLorida.

Greetings all. I come to you, not quite so live, from Orlando.

My life currently consists of limited internet usage, excessive text messages, rapid concert going, and phone calls from my sister updating me on the current state of her children. I am attempting to step up my internet communications, connecting things to mobile and whatnot. Today I redesigned my tumblr, twitter and various blogs for more updates/user friendly usage. So. You should follow me on twitter and tumblr. http://poundthegavel.tumblr.com/  https://twitter.com/#!/mymusicalnotes and youtube, why not. http://www.youtube.com/mymusicalnotes

Mommy.

When it rains it pours. A statement I had never really fully grasped. I've got it now.

My dear, darling sister is currently laid up, 8 1/2 months pregnant, patiently waiting for the 29th when the doctor will break her water and she will be able to stand up straight again.

Her husband is recovering. He had back surgery just a little over a week ago and is now on medications that make him not quite himself.

And where, might you ask, are the 2 children they already have? My living room. Watching Elmo.

I have inherited two small children. Small children have A LOT of stuff. Last week my mom and I spent several hours rearranging our house to make it "Child Proof" and create a pseudo bedroom complete with "Cars bed!" as Andrew calls his child mattress with a plush cars blanket and a small playpen/crib for Caleb.

My floor, couch and kitchen are now covered in various legos, blocks, puzzles, books and hot wheels. My bathtub is filled with toy boats and animals (not to mention slightly stained from all the purple, green and orange baths they've been taking). There are juice boxes in my refrigerator, diapers in my garbage can, and tiny child hangers with tiny child clothes in my closet. Who on earth would allow such a thing to happen to their home? Who would let children drool and wipe their noses all over their shirt? Who would sit through Thomas the Train after Thomas the Train episode? There is a name for this person. Mommy. This is the type of person I have become. I change diapers. I clean up toys after the children fall asleep. And I am very tired. But somehow, I get all the energy I need to take care of them when I hear that small voice say "Aunt Tori? I lolve you." or see that big smile come toddling toward me saying "MOMOMOMOM" And I never, never get tired of the warm hugs and slimy little kisses.

So here it is: Rent-A-Mom, Open for Business.

Dear Nephew too Young to Read:

Well Caleb, I thought you weren't going to make an appearance. You little trickster; I should have known the second we turned around to go home you would decide it was time to be born. Well we got you in the end. They played the little "Someone had a baby" music they play in the hospital lobby and we all jumped up and down and said "That's our baby!"

That wasn't a year ago was it? I couldn't have been a whole year younger when I babysat your brother while mom and grandma made a midnight run to the hospital. I wasn't a year younger when I sat in the lobby of a different hospital singing Ke$ha songs at 1am. (Thankfully it was just family at that point; family I'm convinced you were hiding from) Was it really a year ago that I sat with aunt Brittany on one side and uncle Matt on the other as we discussed at length Blue's Clues changing from Steve to Joe? I believe Matt had some things to say about drugs, I was more interested in the "Blue-ska-doo we can too" thing he did all wrong. Of course you have no idea who Steve is you little 21st century baby. We pulled chairs up to a table along the wall and tried to out Criss Angel each other. We all failed miserably; apparently we aren't magician material.

Could it really have been an entire year since we laughed at your great grandfather snoring on the hospital couch? He was waiting around to meet you before he had to drive back to Kentucky that night. No it definitely wasn't a year ago I got so tired that I hoped and hoped you were a girl. I saw the pictures and refused to go and meet you. Naturally, I went to meet you. I came back the next day and the next day. No I'm sure there hasn't been a whole year since your brother and I unwrapped you from your warm blanket because he really, really needed to make sure you had feet. He promptly tickled them.

Alas, it's been a year. I have one tiny sense of time, almost unnoticeable and sure to be forgotten at some point. It was my cell phone. You were taking so long my phone started dying and I had to pull a chair over to an outlet to plug it in. That night your cousin texted me to tell me he was hanging out with his friend Captain Morgan and something about... Blueberries? Your great aunt called to make sure he wasn't drunk. Nope, he was messing with us. That conversation. That's how I know it's truly been a year. The phone I was using (the blue and white Gravity from TMo that chimed obnoxiously, shut off if you held it wrong, didn't vibrate anymore, had cracks in the screen and had been beaten so badly the space bar didn't work) hadn't worked for months, but I upgraded just after Halloween.

There you have it. I guess it was a year ago which means, to my horror, you are exactly 1 year old today. Brat. Now you say words and stand up on your own and go about your little one year old life. Brat. So while you're playing with buttons and napping on people and learning things from your brother, (who isn't always a good source of information; I taught him that) remember AuntT loves you. And really wishes you would stop getting bigger. Happy Birthday Brat.

Child Abuse.

Child abuse is bad. Obvious right? Well after 3 years Casey Anthony has been found not guilty of murdering her 2 year old daughter. Even if it was an accident, you don't go partying, dump the body in the woods and get on with your life.

But if she had been convicted what really would have happened? She most likely would have been killed herself. Then what? The world would be short one Casey Anthony. I doubt anyone would miss her. She's just one seriously messed up person...

Now before you start running your mouth about me, I DO believe she's guilty. I do believe she should have been convicted, but I also believe that it wouldn't make one bit of difference to the 5 children that die everyday due to abuse and neglect. 6 million children are reported abused a year. They could be helped if people knew what to do.

I know everyone has a facebook account. Go and join this event, and invite your friends to do the same. Share just one status update about child abuse prevention. For five minutes of your time, you could save 5 children's lives. Every status counts.

If a child is being abused call 1-800-4-A-CHILD or go to ChildHelp.org

Pictures

I love taking pictures. My computer actually is FULL because I have so many pictures on it. I have pictures of all those people I reference as "the past". They were there for all my pictures and memories, they're in all my stories. Now I've never been the kind to burn all the pictures of people after stupid fights; that's dumb. Even if you don't want the pictures now, you will someday and burning/disfiguring them won't erase the memories. Also, burning pictures is bad for the earth, but that's another story. So I keep my pictures, but I never look at them. Ya know why? Because every time I do I see their freakin' faces and I don't care about the memories

anymore. All the memories are "Yeah, but I know what's coming." It's like they're poisoning all my photographs with their smiles. Their fake, fake smiles.

Everyone has faced this problem I think. It's not a maturity issue or an "I hate you, go die!" issue, it's a "Wow I just really don't even want to see your face" issue. This is one of the ways our generation has it better. There used to be two choices, destroy the picture or don't destroy the picture. With this digital age, all our photos are online and backed up on discs, memory cards, phones and hard drives. The best thing I can come up with to do is make a copy and do this:

Remember that trip to Disney World? The one you went on with your choir full of your "best friends for life"? I remember the trip, but not the BFFL part. This reflects that.

Those times spent at the hotel's guitar shaped pool. Remember how we all went running to the piano pool and Mom tried to photograph us all running by?

Or how about the dumb things we did just walking around parks? Yeah we all stuck our heads in the stocks in the middle of magic kingdom on our way to our third time on the Haunted Mansion ride. And when the body dropped, you all screamed. Again. And when they spun you around and tilted you back you screamed. Again. You were amazed by the dancing ghosts. Again. And you all talked about the "Fred is dead, a big rock fell on his head" tombstone outside and referenced the annoying youtube kid. And laughed about whether or not a ghost would follow you all the way to Illinois, you just to your hotel.

There was that 13th birthday get together with just a few people. There was laser tag and that awesome guy that worked there helped shoot your friends because you had uneven teams. You still lost, but help from a much older, cute worker guy gave you guys enough to giggle over for the rest of the evening.

That Jonas Brothers concert the night before the first day of school? You opted for the 4 lawn seats so you could bring your friends with. There were several tears when Nick sang A Little Bit Longer.

You guys signed their tour bus. There was much talk of the "sacred" blue sharpie afterword.

How about when that old friend came back to town and you went to Wendy's with the old friend and the new one? There was sharing of old inside jokes and creating of new ones. Your mom just kept periodically taking pictures of everyone. It's a good thing everyone loved her because she takes a lot of random pictures of your friends.

Then you and said friends went to meet Ashley Greene.Your mom ordered those "Team Mike Newton" shirts Ashley loved so much. Yeah, you still have that shirt. Yeah it has Ashley's signature on it. Remember that old friend/enemy boy you've known since grade school that you saw in the line behind you? Good times.

And accidentally met Mitchel Musso, who was the sweetest guy and hugged all three of you separately and signed an insert on one of your CD's "Just in case" because you only had 2. Then after 5 minutes with you guys, still had the patience to wait while your mom changed cameras because hers wasn't working.

Yeah, okay. So I don't really go around copying pictures and putting colorful circles in place of peoples faces, but I thought it would make for interesting visuals. And it's a pretty good representation of what really happens. I laughed remembering the conversations we had all through Disney World, and my birthday party, and the concerts we went to and all the ridiculous stuff that happened at show choir rehearsals. The color blobs are perfect examples of my experience. That whole "It's not where you are it's who you're with" thing is a lie. 10 years from now there is a very real possibility you won't know who the heck you were with, but you'll remember Disney World. You'll remember the roller coasters that made you scream and performing on the dock in downtown Disney. You'll remember getting cake in your nose when someone smashed your face in it. Does it really matter who did the smashing? Does it really matter who took the video camera to show the video of the cake going up your nose to that guy you've been in love with forever? I'm honestly not even sure who took him the camera anymore, or who all was at the restaurant. (Yes, it happened at a restaurant.) The answer to all these questions is no.

Memory is a funny thing. It doesn't always stick around forever, but it can be triggered at anytime. So don't destroy the pictures. Don't completely close your mind to something that was once good. You could end up wiping out a lot more than a person's face. Just wait. And maybe, you'll be so absolutely annoyed at someone's face that you get angry every time you open your pictures. If that happens, cut their heads out; even if it's not permanent, it can help you see past who was a in a photo and see what was happening. That's what really counts.

"To my ex-bestfriends, don't know how we grew apart. To my favorite bands and singalongs in my car, to the face I see in my memory, Where are you now?" Where Are You Now -Honor Society

p.s. Just for the heck of it. I know you're wondering :P Not my best look.