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Saturday, April 6, 2013

My Thoughts: Horror Movies

You: Hey, what's your favorite movie?
Me: That's a broad question. Can you narrow it down a bit?
You: What's your current favorite movie?
Me: The Cabin in the Woods.
You give me a weird look.

Yeah, you're doing it. I know you are. I get that look a lot when I...well, speak. You should see the looks I get when I say Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling are unattractive.

Stop looking at me like that.

Really though folks, horror fans especially, let's talk for a second. Ever noticed how so many for really real horror movies have majorly sucking story lines and are clearly just an excuse for naked people and blood? I like naked people and blood just as much as the next horror fan, I mean, who could get tired of that one blonde chick that just doesn't learn, takes her shirt off and is immediately beheaded? But I could watch that in my sleep. Yeah, I love effects and some big horror films have been worth a pretty penny, but random stabbings just aren't an interesting story. Engage me, terrify me, anything! Be interesting.

Well, the parodies are. Movies like Scream and The Cabin in the Woods, they're horror movies but they're also comedies. They have logical reasoning and you get a sense that these things could really be out there. The Scream movies? Not a single paranormal thing there. Just some seriously twisted kids with empty pill bottles and too much time on their hands. Sounds like some people I know...

The stories, the details, everything is so well nurtured in movies like this. So why can't we do it with a standard horror film?

These are the questions that keep me awake.

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